Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
