Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
