My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
