You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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