Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
