I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
