I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize