just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
