im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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