I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
