Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Randomize
