when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
