it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
