i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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