Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
