i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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