The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
