Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize