Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
