There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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