actually, I'm a sock model
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
