I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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