i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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