Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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