I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
