ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
