watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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