I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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