I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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