How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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