Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
