Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize