Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
