he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
