I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Barsexuality is the new black.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
