he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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