No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize