No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
