I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
