I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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