dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
