You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
