Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize