Are we in a gay sports bar?
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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