ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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