I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
