You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
