yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
