We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's get the cat blown out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize