Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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