If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
