youre lurking in front of me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
