she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
