my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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