I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
