I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
