so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
