thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
