that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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