he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You made out with two different species that night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
