He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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